I COULDN'T FEEL, SO I TRIED TO TOUCH

The situation with Dom and I remained as odd as ever until the reluctant pragmatist in me became fed up with the uncertainty, ambiguity and a seemingly never ending source of unhappiness. The thinking space provided by wandering in the Valencian Mountains gave me no real option other than to accept it was over. The theory was to make recovery from each other simple by leaving no trace of myself, or us, or our history. No triggers. No memories. Like Joel Barish desperate to bask in the 'Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind', if I can't be with Dom, then he's not going to be left with any part of me. At all. 

All souvenirs and mementoes of shared moments stored away. Any images of me or us in any format, gone. All of my music removed leaving no chance of our relationship's soundtrack being heard again. Any electronic devices storing anything related to us now either removed or had their memories wiped. Spotless. And Mindless. 

Observing what is now 'his' home I no longer feel welcome within its walls. It's all him, no longer us, nothing of me. I have no right to be there. An unwelcome stranger. 

I said my goodbyes to Dom. I said I don't think we'll ever be a part of each other lives again. I don't think we will. 

Hallelujah!